The number of fall birthdays in our family is kind of crazy,
there is even a “two for one” birthday for Monte and Marsha.
Some of my first and most fond memories from growing up are
playing with my siblings, running around the farm on adventures, playing
softball in the yard. Inevitably Monte
would hit the softball into the milkhouse window and break the window. We all took turns “fessing” up to breaking it
to Dad. I am pretty sure he knew that it
was Monte, not his little sister that broke the window but it helped to lessen
the lecture. I can also remember Monte playing basketball
in the yard forever. He would just
shoot, dribble, shoot. Sometimes he would
let me play horse with him too. When he
and his friends would be playing football I was out there with them, chasing
them all around as if I could really catch them.
I really wanted to be like Dad and Monte and go hunting. Well, at least I thought I did. What I really wanted to do was to go sit in
the tree stand and wait for the deer to come in…however, Dad said that I was a
bit too much of a chatter box for that, I would probably have scared all of the
deer away! So, my solution was to “sit”
in the trees around the yard. And I
would get stuck. I would climb too high
and get scared to climb down so I would sit and wait until Dad and Monte got
back from working in the woods or the fields and as soon as I would see Monte I
would holler for hime to come and get me down.
It must have been countless times that he came to my rescue, every time
telling me to knock it off and how I could have gotten hurt. I lumped Monte into the same category as Dad,
fearless and capable of conquering the world.
All posts seem to come to a point where mom gets involved and this is no different, I think a lot of why everything is relative to her is because she was the total matriarch, the glue that held our family together and going through everything that we went through with her brought out so much of everyone’s character to the surface. It pinpointed our strengths and vulnerable points. So, on that note, for our family this will not come as a surprise but Monte, when he was little, we very shy and would cling to mom. I know that he held a very special place in her heart because he was her only little boy. Growing up, I had a hard time not being jealous that Monte had “special rules”, like he could eat Lucky Charms for breakfast AND supper if he wanted – none of the girls could get away with that. Silly little things, but they were special none the less. The big picture of what I wasn’t seeing was how many sacrifices of his time he was giving because of being the only boy in a farming family.
Later, in our teen years Monte was the brother keeping watch
at the party giving boys the evil eye if they talked to me. Ugh…I would get so annoyed!! But he was the classic text book big brother –
the protector. The role of Dad fits
really well with him. I remember when Tessa was a baby – the first
niece/nephew in our lives, when Tammie would come home to visit Monte would
stay up with Tessa and rock her so Tammie could get a few extra minutes of
sleep. For as strong as he always is he
have a very compassionate side. He loves
fiercely with all of his heart. Seeing
him with his boys and how much they adore him just makes you smile.
In the mornings before school, frequently Monte and I would
be at the kitchen table eating breakfast.
Mom and Dad would be in the barn, Karrie would be upstairs getting ready…we
would look at the clock…it was almost time.
At 7:20 AM in our house from the years of 1993-1995, Monday through
Friday, without fail a war would break out.
Marsha’s alarm clock would go off – to which she would say, “5 more
minutes” and then she and Karrie would start the daily fight of who was taking
up too much space in their room, who wore who’s clothes, whose turn it was to
use the curling iron. Some days it would
be minimal just a few raised voices, sometimes a few yelps of Ow! But, on the rare occasion it would get really
bad we would run out and get Dad and he would go upstairs and break up the
fights. It was such huge amusement for
Monte and I. The really funny thing, is
that even though they literally fought like cats and dogs every day, they spent
time together with friends, worked at the same restaurant.
On to Marsha…my oh my where do I start? I so very much wanted Marsha to like me when we
were little, I followed her and her friends around and would never leave her
alone. Marsha, Karrie and I would
play “soap opera” The Bold and the Beautiful for hours and I of course was told to be whomever was the least cool of the characters. We would play for hours in the hay mow,
building forts and searching out kittens.
When I was in junior high and Marsha was in high school, I would “borrow” Marsha’s clothes ALL the time. But she always had a ride home from a friend
or boyfriend from school and I would ride the bus. Frequently, I would get home
before her and rush to her room to put her clothes back where I found them so
that she wouldn’t find out that I had worn them. Mom knew I was doing it and would just warn
me not to get caught. Super funny now, most likely
for me more than Marsha I think, but now we are much better at sharing clothes.
It came to that magical time when I got an after school/weekend job and where else but to the same restaurant that Marsha and Karrie worked at. Karrie wasn't working there very much at that time but Marsha was the broiler cook and I was the dishwasher. For those of you unfamiliar with the pecking order of working at a restaurant the broiler cook is pretty much the president of kitchen and the dishwasher is the unpaid intern. It was really fun working with Marsha actually, she wasn't too hard on me. We eventually became close friends as well as sisters, sharing friends. Marsha took me to my very first concert, Dave Matthews Band. For my close friends, you all know this was the start of a very long obsession with Dave. You can blame Marsha.
Marsha eventually outgrew our little town and spread her wings to move to Eau Claire. I missed her SO much. We racked up quite the long distance calling bill the first few months she was there - Dad had a bit of a stern talk with me that I couldn't call her to chat as much as we used to. I would get to go and visit Marsha and stay at her apartment in Eau Claire - I felt so cool. When it was my turn to pick where I was going after high school I followed Marsha to Eau Claire - literally into the apartment that she lived in the year prior. Marsha was 100% my life preserver while I lived in Eau Claire - she made sure I knew how to protect myself, took me out for a nice meal once a week to make sure I was actually eating vegetables and invited me over to her apartment all the time.
Fast forward a few years, I am back in Medford now and Marsha is still in Eau Claire and we start the new tradition of singing each other obnoxious songs on the other's answering machines in the wee hours of the morning after going out. My go-to standard was Gloria Gaynor and Marsha's was Cher. I can still remember waking up on Sunday mornings and getting excited to hear what kind of crazy message she left. It was a really fun time in our sisterhood/friendship.
I got to be there to see the start of Marsha and Kris's relationship, it was so sweet and wonderful to see Marsha so happy and that she had found her partner. We got married the same year, Marsha and Kris in an amazing destination wedding that took place in Tybee Island, Georgia that resulted in one of the most memorable family vacations of our lives. Between haunted pub crawls, playing on the beach, singing karaoke and showing GA how WI does dollar beer night, it was all so much fun.
Marsha has always been a constant source of support, laughter and love in my adult life. I think we have helped each other through a lot of the heartache of losing mom. Marsha later suffered a tremendous and life shattering loss of her baby Jacob. It was a time in her life that was very dark and I was so scared for her and hoped that there would be someway that I could bring some light to her life. She was so much stronger than she gave herself credit for. She recovered physically from the loss, I don't think anyone ever can recover emotionally.
The next HUGE chapter in Marsha's life was the twins, their entrance into this crazy world was not without incident and I learned A LOT about babies in a very short time. I loved watching Marsha come into her own as a new mommy, getting into the routine of every day. When we were blessed with our miracle of Naomi, Marsha was so happy for us it was amazing.
It has been such a huge blessing to have Reese, Sam and Naomi grow up together. It makes my heart sing to see them all together. I love the moments as they are now but I am also looking forward to seeing who these wonderful little people become.
To both Monte and Marsha - I wish you a wonderful birthday and many great things to come in the following year. I cannot imagine my life without having both of you being such huge parts of it. Monte, we don't get to see each other as much as we would like but you are an amazing father and I love you very much. Marsha, I cannot begin to fathom what I would do without you. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for, thank you for being not only a great sister but my best friend.
Much love,
Mindy Jo
No comments:
Post a Comment